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Subject:SUPER DUPER GAE
Time:08:43 pm
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
THIS IS SOOOO FUCKIN' EMO ITS RIDICULOUS.....

BUT THIS SONG SERIOUSLY SUMS UP SOO MUCH

Forgive and forget
It's just a memory
It wont get me very far this time
Is what I've done to you unforgivable?
Silence fills the room and I get the message.
Emptiness is all that's left this time.
Is what I meant to you that forgettable?

Better than Better than me of course.
You're always right.
You're always on the ball.
Better than Better than everything
I've done for you cause now you can finally sleep.
Can you smile too?

I took it as a threat
You meant it as the doctrine
Of everything that was and would become.
I don't have to ask, you don't miss me at all.
You made it so obvious
When you slowly walked away
And then I prayed in vain.
I would've traded everything
even for just a taste.
I'll live with the loneliness.
but I'll never forget
I was never your best bet.

Better than Better than me of course.
You're always right.
You're always on the ball
Better than Better than everything
I've done for you
Cause now you can finally sleep.
Can you smile too?
Now you can sleep, can you smile too?
Can you smile now that I'm gone?

I'm stupid
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Subject:NOOO!!! Jimmy I love You!!!
Time:10:19 pm
 
 I have just been informed that Jim Edmonds is going to the dirty Padres!!

My world has just come crashing down!!

My love, how could this happen?

I can't explain the pain i feel right now at the loss of Jimmy!

I will still wear the "Jimmy Jersey" proudly.

The Cardinals are going to suck this year! No Jimmy??? I'm rooting for the Red Sox. Be comforted by Big Papi and Manny.

I can't explain my grief!

Jimmy I love you, and i'll miss you.

Whyyyyy??????????????

#15 4ev
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Subject:An abbreviated Year in Review
Time:11:01 pm

1) Was 2007 a good year for you?
 Yes and No

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
My 21st Birthday/ Rob and I’s adventures driving to
Florida with NO sleep!/ Jumping the waves with Rob and my mom

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
There’s too many to choose from. But pretty much making an ass out of myself

4) Where were you when 2007 began?
My House

5) Who were you with?

My Lovely friends
 6) Where will you be when 2007 ends?
Someplace cool where I can dress up and be saucy with my friends! We are not hanging out at my place again!!!

7) Who will you be with when 2007 ends?

My lovelies.. you know who you are!
 8) What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
I was on the Radio

9) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Hell No

10) Did anyone close to you give birth? no

11) Did anyone close to you die? no

12) Did you travel outside of the US in 2007? Unfortunately NO

13) How many different states did you travel to in 2007? Rob and I traveled to Florida, went thru Mississippi, Tennessee ,Kentucky, Alabama, and Arkansas

14) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
SCHOOL!!!! 

15) What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August 5th --- my 21st -- and Maybe I think it was November 12th?? Or was it the week before?
 16) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Losing weight

17) What was your biggest failure?
Not getting enrolled at UMSL

18) Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Nothing too bad. But its me, something always happens

19) What was the best thing you bought?
Shoes, fleur de lis necklace

20) Whose behavior merited celebration?
I agree with Lori… Bry’s

21) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Michael Vick

22) Where did most of your money go?
Shoes, tacos, alcohol,
GAS, clothes, books, movies, cds, smokes

 23) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My 21st

24) What song will always remind you of 2007? Sexy Back or When did your heart go missing?

25) Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? I think happier in ways, but its complicated, bittersweet
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Richer

26) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Crazy things with my friends

27) What do you wish you'd done less of?

Contemplate my exsistence, thinking too far into the hazy unknown future
 28) How will you be spending Christmas?
With my lovely family and perhaps my friends.

29) Did you fall in love in 2007?
Ain’t that the million dollar question?

34) Did you breakup with anyone in 2007?
No.

35) How many one-night stands?
Zero.  I’m a good girl!! See my HALO?

36) How many people did you sleep with in 2007?
ummm, none so far. I’m a champ!! But once again look at my shiny HALO !!

37) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yup

38) Did you make any new friends in 2007?
Yes

39) Who are your favorite new friends?
Maureen and Mary

40) What was your favorite month of 2007?
je ne sais pas! August or no November .. unsure.. may??

41) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Sarah

 42) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

Who me? Of course not!! Should I be ashamed, that’s the question. I probably should but I’m not
 43) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2007?
umm not sure. There’s soo many

44) Did you treat somebody badly in 2007?
Yea… I ‘m like 100% sure I did

45) Did somebody treat you badly in 2007?
Of course. But their assholes so I already forgot about em’

46) What was your proudest moment of 2007?
Being smart in History class discussing the French Revolution with my teacher

47) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007?

Sounding like a dumbass on the Radio b/c I was soo nervous
 48) Wha was your greatest musical discovery?
Goldfrapp

49) What did you want and get?

A few things

50) What did you want and not get?
My school and life together, and my own place

51) What was your favorite new film of this year?
I have too many. I love everything. Ecspecially with new Pirates and harry Potter. Oh I loved Enchanted!

52) What was your favorite TV program?
Pushing Daisies and NCIS

53) What was your favorite record from 2007?
too hard of a question

54) How many concerts did you see in 2007?
Probably none unless you count Hipp Nights at the Hard Rock

55) Did you have a favorite concert in 2007?
ummmm

56) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2007?
yea I totally did

57) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2007?
No.

58) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
the Big 21! I went out with my friends to The Twisted olive and the Atomic Cowboy!

59) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Knowing my school was taken care of.

60) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Red Carpet funky chic! Oh yea

61) What kept you sane?
Bryonie!! You have NO idea!! That girls a SAINT! And Lori lately!! She too has kept me very SANE by listening to me bitch or fret!

62) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Gerard Butler

63) How much money did you spend in 2007?
Umm enough where now I need more

64) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
More things in life are greyer than you think. There’s almost no black and white.  People and life can surprise you in a way you NEVER expected

65) What are your plans for 2008?
School, my own place, and makin’ my way to
Europe

66) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
”Why’d you have to be so cute? It’s impossible to ignore you? Must you make me laugh so much? It’s bad enough we get along so well. Say Goodnight and Go”

 

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Subject:GAE!
Time:04:55 pm
As Velvet Goldmine has taught us, ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GAY. 

I think this mihgt be true.

Shiny things you can't have. You're attracted to them. And well you can't really help it. 

And sometimes you'll do anything to get said shiny object even if it is ulitmately self destructive.

Then theres nothing worse than having a jewel for rent. Sometimes you can wear it, and you feel great. Greater than you've ever felt. Then when the jewels away and you can't wear it, you look at it longingly in the box. So therefor you do anything to get it out of the box and in the processs damage it. 

This metaphor stuff is crap. I apologize. But i have soo much to get off my chest and i can't. So i'll stew in my silence.

I hate wanting something so bad it does actually hurt, and only getting brief tastes that keep you coming back for more. Which results in you doing stupid shit that makes things worse.  

Right now i'm the queen of stupidity, and i don't wear the crown proudly. 

Why can't i stop myself? Seriously??

It shouldn't be this hard. 

And now i've picked at something i shouldn't have and get to face the consequences. I'm sure i'll be forgiven but still i feel so stupid. 

I'm done with this stupid rant. 

I'm sure i'll continue to be an idiot about certain things. SOmetimes you REALLY can't help it. I don't care what everyone says.
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Subject:OMG!
Time:02:57 pm
Today as i was gazing outside of Bath and Body works, bored, because no one was in the store. And lo and behold... guess what came into my line of vision????

None other than the Glorious CHRIS CARPENTER!!

i was in awe, seriously. I didn't want to bother him cuz he glanced at the store, so i just smiled and he was nice enough to smile back. At which point after he walked past the store i ran around the damn store with a retarded grin on my face.

I, amanda, was only a few feet from CARP!! I almost wanted to be like "I hope your arm feels alright" cuz' his arm was all wrapped up.  Poor Carp. 

But i am still really happy with life. NO ONE today is going to take away the joy of Carp. Well i guess someone can, and if they do i'm going to flip out! 

So here's to me having an awesome rest of the day!!
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Subject:ON AIR
Time:12:32 pm
Tonight I'll be on Hipp Nights on The Big 550 KTRS from 9 till midnight to review Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and to chime in when necessary.

So if you're near a radio check it out.
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Subject:Boys Suck..... Shoes rule
Time:09:21 pm
Ahh, I would like to thank Lori. Lori LUv' you are dee best. Thanx for listening to me bitch. Amanda and Lori Boys are stupid convos, might just save my life.

I'm in Florida having an amazing time. C'est great! Tomorrow we head back out to the beach. Lovely.

Did i mention boys suck? And can i even call him a boy for all of you who know? Since he can be a bit stupid sometimes we'll say yes.
I really don't want to leave, but at the same time i want ot be home, And all of you know why that is. I do have an oppurtunity to stay in florida for three weeks. I want to take it. And maybe sweet Nicc can come visit me. Yezz!

I think i need a break. A big break. But i'm not sure Florida is far enough.

Well thats all folks... you know you'll here the full story from me soon!!

Luv'  my chickies!
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Time:12:15 pm
Ahhh.. i'm just sitting at home, listening to my ipod on my deck in a rocking chair and enjoying a smoke. I feel that when i get older i will definitly think this is the best time of my life. There is so much anticipation, for good things to come. Channel 98 begins on Friday!! i can't tell you how excited i am. This is the key boys and girls, i can feel it. Things are falling into place! (I hope i don't jinx it). 

My friends are awesome!  I love everyone of em'. Life is just awesome now. I've lost almost 15 lbs and i'm on my way to lose more, and i'm extremely happy! And b/c of Channel 98 we have met some awesome people, that i'm so happy to have in my life now. ( omg i sound cheesy!!)  

On Friday Sarah comes home for a week before she has to go to field training. Next week is all about Sarah. 

I was thinking the other day.. i totally need to hang out with Angela and Juan!!!! Its been much tooo long!

I have all the costume etc... worked out for Channel 98 finally!!! I am so happy. things are going to be awesome. Oh and my chickies Nicc and Bry are going to look totally hot!!  I'm excited about my 3 titles in Channel 98. I got fired from being Rob's assistant, b/c he can't yell at me and tell me what to do, but its good b/c i got a new position. For channel 98 I'll be on the credits as.... Make-Up Artist, Costume Designer, and Mr. Hipperson's Assistant!!lololol! 

Well its time for me to make it on back to my rocking chair
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Subject:Why me???
Time:02:41 pm
What is it with me and extremely unavailable men????? And why are they the only ones who tell me how beautiful i am etc... Why??????? It's my curse!!!!! oh lord why me????
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Subject:eh
Time:08:25 pm
so yea the president is droning on.. blah blah blah.. i'll read the synopsis later. life is gae. my classes are kewl/ i'm stuck at my house during the week and on the weekend is no different because i figure everyone knows. i want to leave here so badly. theres nothing here.  at this moment i feel like i could just scream.. i want to drive but i can't. i can't find a job. i hate it all. i'm tired of this place and people etc.. its good to know people care......
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[icon] theladyedana
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